Empowering Wisdom - User contributions [en]

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2025-11-19T20:28:11Z

Leeann: Undo revision 303 by Leeann (talk)

'''Exploring parenting with less reactivity and more choice'''

How do we help our children be able to navigate the changes that are happening for all of us? Many of us would like to be able to have power with our children instead of power over, and to learn to work together collaboratively instead of imposing obedience. A key to this is being relational, providing information about what's going on for us so that together we can adjust to the impacts that we are having on one another. Having this information allows us to co-hold challenges together with our children so that we can more effectively meet the challenges we find ourselves in.

A key is self awareness and noticing our patterns of response. The explorations in our circle support us in becoming aware of what our patterns are, and where they don't serve collaboration. We need support to stay with the tension between what's been socially acceptable and what our hearts are really asking for. As we become more able to validate and take into consideration what our own inner guidance is telling us, we can also support our children in valuing their own inner guidance.

In our efforts to fit in, parts of us get labeled wrong, rejected or shut down. Working with what gets triggered in us can help us reconnect with these parts. What is it like to acknowledge what these parts have to say? To welcome and trust all parts of ourselves and the wisdom they hold? How can we do this for ourselves and for our children?

We will be paying attention to what stimulates us and exploring how to sit with the discomfort. We make space for what comes up to emerge organically. We explore what contributed to our stimulation and how this gives us information. Through doing this, we gain more choice in how we meet our life situations.

We'll be exploring
*habits and conditioning that influence how we parent
*working with what gets stimulated in us
*welcoming all parts of ourselves
*how to have more choice about responses vs. reactions
*how to integrate parenting ideas we each are interested in and develop our own parenting style

We offer parenting circle meetings over Zoom every Sunday, with the exception of holidays and dates when hosts are not available. 
'''If you are new''', before you come to a meeting, we ask that you orient yourself by reading about how we hold the space in our meetings. [[How we hold the space|Click here]] to go to our page on how we hold the space.

*'''We are open to adding another day of the week to meet on, so please let us know if you're interested. Tuesday and Friday evenings Eastern time are times that have worked for us in the past.'''
*On Sundays, our meetings take place every week over Zoom from 10:30 am - 12:00 pm Eastern, 9:30 - 11 am Central, 8:30 - 10 am Mountain, 7:30 - 9 am Pacific

*[[Dates|Click here]] to see the dates when we won't be meeting because of holidays and because of hosts not being available.


The suggested contribution for participating in this circle is a sliding scale of $40 - $100 per month. We think this amount is fairly sustainable for us. We're interested in staying away from standard transactional exchanges and moving into resources flowing to where needs are. So, we'd like you to contribute based on the resources you have access to and how these meetings nourish you and your desire to see them continue to be available for yourself and others, rather than on things like how many meetings you personally show up to.

We have 2 options for making a contribution:

1. You can use the PayPal address jdhaenens followed by an at symbol gmail followed by a dot com if you want to use PayPal.

2. You can mail a check to Janet Dhaenens, 179 Flume Creek Rd, Sandpoint, ID 83864.



To learn more, email contact@empoweringwisdom.org or call 734-237-7676.

Dates

2025-11-19T20:26:25Z

Leeann: /* Dates when we will NOT have meetings due to holidays or hosts not being available */

==Dates when we will NOT have meetings due to holidays or hosts not being available==
*12/27/25

Besides the dates listed above that we already know about, something might come up such that there are no hosts available on other dates. These dates will be posted here as soon as we know of them, and participants will also be notified about them via email.

Dates

2025-11-19T20:25:25Z

Leeann:

Dates

2025-11-19T20:24:46Z

Leeann: /* Dates that are affected by Daylight Savings Time */

Main Page

2025-11-19T20:24:05Z

Leeann:

'''Exploring parenting with less reactivity and more choice'''

How do we help our children be able to navigate the changes that are happening for all of us? Many of us would like to be able to have power with our children instead of power over, and to learn to work together collaboratively instead of imposing obedience. A key to this is being relational, providing information about what's going on for us so that together we can adjust to the impacts that we are having on one another. Having this information allows us to co-hold challenges together with our children so that we can more effectively meet the challenges we find ourselves in.

A key is self awareness and noticing our patterns of response. The explorations in our circle support us in becoming aware of what our patterns are, and where they don't serve collaboration. We need support to stay with the tension between what's been socially acceptable and what our hearts are really asking for. As we become more able to validate and take into consideration what our own inner guidance is telling us, we can also support our children in valuing their own inner guidance.

In our efforts to fit in, parts of us get labeled wrong, rejected or shut down. Working with what gets triggered in us can help us reconnect with these parts. What is it like to acknowledge what these parts have to say? To welcome and trust all parts of ourselves and the wisdom they hold? How can we do this for ourselves and for our children?

We will be paying attention to what stimulates us and exploring how to sit with the discomfort. We make space for what comes up to emerge organically. We explore what contributed to our stimulation and how this gives us information. Through doing this, we gain more choice in how we meet our life situations.

We'll be exploring
*habits and conditioning that influence how we parent
*working with what gets stimulated in us
*welcoming all parts of ourselves
*how to have more choice about responses vs. reactions
*how to integrate parenting ideas we each are interested in and develop our own parenting style

We offer parenting circle meetings over Zoom every Sunday, with the exception of holidays and dates when hosts are not available. 
'''If you are new''', before you come to a meeting, we ask that you orient yourself by reading about how we hold the space in our meetings. [[How we hold the space|Click here]] to go to our page on how we hold the space.

*'''We are open to adding another day of the week to meet on, so please let us know if you're interested. Friday evenings Eastern time are a time that has worked for us in the past.'''
*On Sundays, our meetings take place every week over Zoom from 10:30 am - 12:00 pm Eastern, 9:30 - 11 am Central, 8:30 - 10 am Mountain, 7:30 - 9 am Pacific

*[[Dates|Click here]] to see the dates when we won't be meeting because of holidays and because of hosts not being available.


The suggested contribution for participating in this circle is a sliding scale of $40 - $100 per month. We think this amount is fairly sustainable for us. We're interested in staying away from standard transactional exchanges and moving into resources flowing to where needs are. So, we'd like you to contribute based on the resources you have access to and how these meetings nourish you and your desire to see them continue to be available for yourself and others, rather than on things like how many meetings you personally show up to.

We have 2 options for making a contribution:

1. You can use the PayPal address jdhaenens followed by an at symbol gmail followed by a dot com if you want to use PayPal.

2. You can mail a check to Janet Dhaenens, 179 Flume Creek Rd, Sandpoint, ID 83864.



To learn more, email contact@empoweringwisdom.org or call 734-237-7676.

About

2025-10-22T20:14:51Z

Leeann:

Janet Dhaenens and Leeann Fu were brought together by taking [http://nvctraining.com/media/_2020/MK/parenting/index.html Miki and Arnina Kashtan's Parenting without Obedience course]. We formed Empowering Wisdom to offer circles that facilitate greater access to the wisdom we can tap into by welcoming all parts of ourselves.

'''Janet Dhaenens'''

I am a mother of 3 and grandmother of 3, and I'm finally finding words to express what my life experiences have been teaching me for more than 60 years. My specialty is comfort with and ability to welcome and learn from emotions. Suffering from being different and finding no way to fit in led me to recognize the value of differences and the gifts they contain. I am eager to support you in slowing down to find and explore the gifts you already have, so you can use them to have the relationship with your children you really want.

'''Leeann Fu'''

My passion is in exploring what helps people thrive and what can facilitate self-connection. I am the creator of [https://teddybeartalksupport.com/ Teddy Bear Talk Support] and [https://pickapicture.org/ Pick a Picture]. My work has been informed by many years of engagement in the practice of [https://www.somastories.net/current-class-series Authentic Movement], [https://teddybeartalksupport.com/index.php?title=Nonviolent_communication Nonviolent Communication], [https://www.cci-usa.org/what_is.php Co-counseling], and a decade of co-teaching a graduate level "owner's manual for your brain" class. I am the mother of Joel, who is 14 years old and in 9th grade.

Main Page

2025-09-15T15:17:58Z

Leeann:

2024-12-08T17:20:59Z

Leeann: /* Dates */

==Dates when we will NOT have meetings due to holidays or hosts not being available==
*12/24
*1/21

Besides the dates listed above that we already know about, something might come up such that there are no hosts available on other dates. These dates will be posted here as soon as we know of them, and participants will also be notified about them via email.

==Dates that some people won't be coming==
*1/26/25 Leeann won't be coming because of Feldenkrais training

==Dates that are affected by Daylight Savings Time==
*3/9/25 - We switch our clocks, but Esther won't have yet. So, there's only a 4 hour time difference on 3/9/25. Here's a webpage that calculates time zone difference for our meeting on 3/9/25: https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?msg=Empowering+Wisdom+meeting&iso=20250309T1030&p1=784&ah=1

2024-04-01T01:00:24Z

Leeann: /* Dates for every other Tuesday meetings */

2024-03-17T16:08:56Z

Leeann: Created page with "How we hold the space for our circle might feel unfamiliar, so we want to point out a few of these differences. We don't have any pre-planned material to deliver in a teaching sort of way, instead we model the things we have to share. For this reason, we might seem more like fellow participants rather than like leaders. Another difference is that we slow things way down and encourage asking for pauses. This helps us to not jump over things and makes it so we can pay..."

Is this parenting circle a good fit?

2024-03-08T18:06:25Z

Leeann:

'''
In addition to what's on this page, another resource we have available is a recording of an introductory session. You can request that we share the recording with you by emailing contact@empoweringwisdom.org.

'''


Our emphasis is on transformation, holding the space for someone to navigate their own experience and look at their patterns and uncover new possibilities. We are trying as much as possible to help them discover their own wisdom from the inside out without becoming burdened by the personal agendas of others and other empathy blockers.<ref>'''Examples of Empathy Blockers'''

*Evaluate: If you hadn't been so rude ...
*Labeling: You are being overly sensitive.
*Telltale: That reminds me of the time ...
*One up: You should hear what happened to ...
*Denying or discounting: That's nothing! OR Shouldn't you just be glad that you have a job?
*Sympathize: You poor thing! I feel awful for you.
*Put down: You're being silly. Don't be so ridiculous.
*Dismissing: Well, at least you ...
*Judging or guilting: That doesn't seem worth worrying about. OR I can't believe you did that!
 
The empathy blockers in the above list were pulled from several different sources:

*https://www.paperpinecone.com/blog/empathy-blockers-what-are-they-why-should-you-avoid-them-and-what-do-instead

*http://internationaldayoflistening.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/What-empathy-is-NOT.pdf

*https://www.next-element.com/resources/blog/empathy-blockers/

*https://charterforcompassion.org/empathy-cci/empathy</ref> We go at a slow pace with plenty of room for silence, and we hold back on offering strategies until after there has been a lot of room for processing and we ask permission before offering things that the person may or may not want or be ready for.

A common and alienating experience that we want to avoid is feeling like we're being invaded and overwhelmed by people's assumptions, judgments, and advice. Rather, I want to hear you putting into words what your inner experience is right now, in response to what I have shared. What is stimulated in you in response to me? What is your basic, raw experience, including body sensations and emotions?

Hearing this from you is what gives me the context within which to place and be more fully aware of the experience I have had/am having. And from there, to understand myself better, to be able to feel myself more. Being offered acknowledgement and reflections which can include feelings and needs guesses can also be helpful.

How do we [https://teddybeartalksupport.com/index.php?title=Heard_to_speech “hear each other into speech, into deeper and deeper speech?”]

In the circle, we will not be facilitating with the familiar leadership teaching style. We are not an authority that has answers and knows what to do. We will be in exploration with you, believing in and supporting each of us to gain confidence in our ability to find our own way. We will explore with you what it means to engage with you in a "power with" way.

A major part of what we offer is through how we hold the space for the circle in a certain way. Differences we have identified:
*taking time to notice what's present (emotions, sensations, thoughts) and being with what's emerging rather than jumping over it
*acknowledging how hard it can be to welcome parts of ourselves that we wish were different
*feeling the frustration/grief/etc of how big the gap is between where we are and where we want to be, for example, how much I want connection that I don't feel, connection with myself and with others
*recognizing that deep acknowledgment of how hard being a parent/partner/friend/human being is often needs to occur before exploring strategies
*trusting the process and what emerges with the support that I'm getting

The information we'll be exploring tends to come from new places. One reason is because we're slowing things down and encouraging asking for pauses so that, instead of jumping over things, we can take time to notice what emerges that we may have overriden/suppressed in the past. We may recognize a gut feeling that tells us what is right for us that we weren't listening to before.

Some of what we become aware of may help us see deep seated patterns we'd like to change. Or maybe see how we could engage with our children more vulnerably, sharing needs and what's important to us that we haven't shared before. We may realize we are contributing to tension in a relationship in a way we didn't recognize before. Each piece of information helps us have more choice as we engage in all our relationships.

We welcome your feedback along the way about how this process is for you. This important information contributes to our process together.

2023-12-18T01:57:38Z

Leeann:

Main Page

2023-12-18T01:54:58Z

Leeann:

'''Exploring parenting with less reactivity and more choice'''

How do we help our children be able to navigate the changes that are happening for all of us? Many of us would like to be able to have power with our children instead of power over, and to learn to work together collaboratively instead of imposing obedience. A key to this is being relational, providing information about what's going on for us so that together we can adjust to the impacts that we are having on one another. Having this information creates more opportunity for us to meet the challenges we find ourselves in, where we are co-holding these challenges together.

A key is self awareness and noticing our patterns of response. The explorations in our circle support us in becoming aware of what our patterns are, and where they don't serve collaboration. We need support to stay with the tension between what's been socially acceptable and what our hearts are really asking for. As we become more able to validate and take into consideration what our own inner guidance is telling us, we can also support our children in valuing their own inner guidance.

In our efforts to fit in, parts of us get labeled wrong, rejected or shut down. Working with what gets triggered in us can help us reconnect with these parts. What is it like to acknowledge what these parts have to say? To welcome and trust all parts of ourselves and the wisdom they hold? How can we do this for ourselves and for our children?

We will be paying attention to what stimulates us and exploring how to sit with the discomfort. We make space for what comes up to emerge organically. We explore what contributed to our stimulation and how this gives us information. Through doing this, we gain more choice in how we meet our life situations.

We'll be exploring
*habits and conditioning that influence how we parent
*working with what gets stimulated in us
*welcoming all parts of ourselves
*how to have more choice about responses vs. reactions
*how to integrate parenting ideas we each are interested in and develop our own parenting style

We offer parenting circle meetings over Zoom every Sunday, with the exception of holidays and dates when hosts are not available.  If you are new, we ask that you attend a free introductory session before coming to one of these regular meetings (see below).

*'''We are looking to add another day of the week to meet on, so please let us know if you're interested.'''
*On Sundays, the meetings take place over Zoom from 10:30 am - 12:00 pm Eastern, 9:30 - 11 am Central, 8:30 - 10 am Mountain, 7:30 - 9 am Pacific [https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?msg=Empowering+Wisdom+Parenting+Circle+-+3%2F12%2F23+-+11%2F5%2F23+%28Daylight+Savings+Time+ends+on+11%2F5%29&iso=20230326T0730&p1=3550&ah=1&am=30 Display time in your time zone.]

*[[Dates|Click here]] to see the dates when we won't be meeting because of holidays and because of hosts not being available.


The suggested contribution for participating in this circle is a sliding scale of $40 - $100 per month. We think this amount is fairly sustainable for us. We're interested in staying away from standard transactional exchanges and moving into resources flowing to where needs are. So, we'd like you to contribute based on the resources you have access to and how these meetings nourish you and your desire to see them continue to be available for yourself and others, rather than on things like how many meetings you personally show up to.

We have 2 options for making a contribution:

1. You can use the PayPal address jdhaenens followed by an at symbol gmail followed by a dot com if you want to use PayPal.

2. You can mail a check to Janet Dhaenens, 179 Flume Creek Rd, Sandpoint, ID 83864.



'''If you are new to our parenting circle meetings''', we ask that you attend a free introductory session before coming to a regular meeting. We are offering introductory sessions on
*Sunday, January 14, from 10:30 -11:30 am Eastern
*Tuesday, January 16, from 8:15 - 9:15 pm Eastern
*Thursday, January 25, from 8:15 - 9:15 pm Eastern


If none of these times works for you, please contact us at contact@empoweringwisdom.org. '''One option that we can make available is to share a recording of an intro session for you to watch instead of coming to an intro session.'''

To register to attend an introductory session, go to [https://empoweringwisdom.org/signup empoweringwisdom.org/signup] You can also go to this signup to add yourself to a mailing list to be notified about future Empowering Wisdom events.

To learn more, email contact@empoweringwisdom.org or call 734-237-7676.

Main Page

2023-12-18T01:54:05Z

Leeann:

'''Exploring parenting with less reactivity and more choice'''

How do we help our children be able to navigate the changes that are happening for all of us? Many of us would like to be able to have power with our children instead of power over, and to learn to work together collaboratively instead of imposing obedience. A key to this is being relational, providing information about what's going on for us so that together we can adjust to the impacts that we are having on one another. Having this information creates more opportunity for us to meet the challenges we find ourselves in, where we are co-holding these challenges together.

A key is self awareness and noticing our patterns of response. The explorations in our circle support us in becoming aware of what our patterns are, and where they don't serve collaboration. We need support to stay with the tension between what's been socially acceptable and what our hearts are really asking for. As we become more able to validate and take into consideration what our own inner guidance is telling us, we can also support our children in valuing their own inner guidance.

In our efforts to fit in, parts of us get labeled wrong, rejected or shut down. Working with what gets triggered in us can help us reconnect with these parts. What is it like to acknowledge what these parts have to say? To welcome and trust all parts of ourselves and the wisdom they hold? How can we do this for ourselves and for our children?

We will be paying attention to what stimulates us and exploring how to sit with the discomfort. We make space for what comes up to emerge organically. We explore what contributed to our stimulation and how this gives us information. Through doing this, we gain more choice in how we meet our life situations.

We'll be exploring
*habits and conditioning that influence how we parent
*working with what gets stimulated in us
*welcoming all parts of ourselves
*how to have more choice about responses vs. reactions
*how to integrate parenting ideas we each are interested in and develop our own parenting style

We offer parenting circle meetings over Zoom every Sunday, with the exception of holidays and dates when hosts are not available.  '''We are looking to add another day of the week to meet on, so please let us know if you're interested.''' If you are new, we ask that you attend a free introductory session before coming to one of these regular meetings (see below).

*On Sundays, the meetings take place over Zoom from 10:30 am - 12:00 pm Eastern, 9:30 - 11 am Central, 8:30 - 10 am Mountain, 7:30 - 9 am Pacific [https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?msg=Empowering+Wisdom+Parenting+Circle+-+3%2F12%2F23+-+11%2F5%2F23+%28Daylight+Savings+Time+ends+on+11%2F5%29&iso=20230326T0730&p1=3550&ah=1&am=30 Display time in your time zone.]

*[[Dates|Click here]] to see the dates when we won't be meeting because of holidays and because of hosts not being available.


The suggested contribution for participating in this circle is a sliding scale of $40 - $100 per month. We think this amount is fairly sustainable for us. We're interested in staying away from standard transactional exchanges and moving into resources flowing to where needs are. So, we'd like you to contribute based on the resources you have access to and how these meetings nourish you and your desire to see them continue to be available for yourself and others, rather than on things like how many meetings you personally show up to.

We have 2 options for making a contribution:

1. You can use the PayPal address jdhaenens followed by an at symbol gmail followed by a dot com if you want to use PayPal.

2. You can mail a check to Janet Dhaenens, 179 Flume Creek Rd, Sandpoint, ID 83864.



'''If you are new to our parenting circle meetings''', we ask that you attend a free introductory session before coming to a regular meeting. We are offering introductory sessions on
*Sunday, January 14, from 10:30 -11:30 am Eastern
*Tuesday, January 16, from 8:15 - 9:15 pm Eastern
*Thursday, January 25, from 8:15 - 9:15 pm Eastern


If none of these times works for you, please contact us at contact@empoweringwisdom.org. '''One option that we can make available is to share a recording of an intro session for you to watch instead of coming to an intro session.'''

To register to attend an introductory session, go to [https://empoweringwisdom.org/signup empoweringwisdom.org/signup] You can also go to this signup to add yourself to a mailing list to be notified about future Empowering Wisdom events.

To learn more, email contact@empoweringwisdom.org or call 734-237-7676.