Is this parenting circle a good fit?: Difference between revisions

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In addition to what's on this page, another resource we have available is a recording of an introductory session.  You can request that we share the recording with you by emailing contact@empoweringwisdom.org. 
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Before attending your first parenting circle meeting we ask that you either watch the recording or arrange to have a conversation with one of us to help with folding you into our meetings. We'll then share the Zoom info with you for joining our meetings.
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Our emphasis is on transformation, holding the space for someone to navigate their own experience and look at their patterns and uncover new possibilities.  We are trying as much as possible to help them discover their own wisdom from the inside out without becoming burdened by the personal agendas of others and other empathy blockers.<ref>'''Examples of Empathy Blockers'''
Our emphasis is on transformation, holding the space for someone to navigate their own experience and look at their patterns and uncover new possibilities.  We are trying as much as possible to help them discover their own wisdom from the inside out without becoming burdened by the personal agendas of others and other empathy blockers.<ref>'''Examples of Empathy Blockers'''


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*Sympathize:  You poor thing!  I feel awful for you.
*Sympathize:  You poor thing!  I feel awful for you.
*Put down:  You're being silly.  Don't be so ridiculous.
*Put down:  You're being silly.  Don't be so ridiculous.
*Dismissing:  Well, at least you ...
*Judging or guilting:  That doesn't seem worth worrying about. OR I can't believe you did that!
*Judging or guilting:  That doesn't seem worth worrying about. OR I can't believe you did that!
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*https://www.next-element.com/resources/blog/empathy-blockers/
*https://www.next-element.com/resources/blog/empathy-blockers/


*https://charterforcompassion.org/empathy-cci/empathy</ref> We go at a very slow pace with plenty of room for silence, and we hold back on offering strategies until after there has been a lot of room for processing.  
*https://charterforcompassion.org/empathy-cci/empathy</ref> We go at a slow pace with plenty of room for silence, and we hold back on offering strategies until after there has been a lot of room for processing and we ask permission before offering things that the person may or may not want or be ready for.  


A common and alienating experience that we want to avoid is to feeling like we're being invaded and overwhelmed by people's assumptions, judgments, and advice.  Rather, I want to hear you putting into words what your inner experience is right now, in response to what I have shared. What is stimulated in you in response to me?  What is your basic, raw experience, including how you feel?
A common and alienating experience that we want to avoid is feeling like we're being invaded and overwhelmed by people's assumptions, judgments, and advice.  Rather, I want to hear you putting into words what your inner experience is right now, in response to what I have shared. What is stimulated in you in response to me?  What is your basic, raw experience, including body sensations and emotions?


Hearing this from you is what gives me the context within which to place and be more fully aware of the experience I have had/am having. And from there, to understand myself better, to be able to feel myself more.
Hearing this from you is what gives me the context within which to place and be more fully aware of the experience I have had/am having. And from there, to understand myself better, to be able to feel myself more.  Being offered acknowledgement and reflections which can include feelings and needs guesses can also be helpful.


How do we [https://teddybeartalksupport.com/index.php?title=Heard_to_speech “hear each other into speech, into deeper and deeper speech?”]
How do we [https://teddybeartalksupport.com/index.php?title=Heard_to_speech “hear each other into speech, into deeper and deeper speech?”]
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*trusting the process and what emerges with the support that I'm getting
*trusting the process and what emerges with the support that I'm getting


The clues and information we'll be exploring tend to come from different places than usual. One reason they'll be coming from different places is that we're slowing things down and encouraging asking for pauses so that, instead of jumping over things, we can take more time to notice what emerges if we don't go with habitual patterns that may include overriding ourselves/suppressing something alive in ourselves. Some of these clues and information will help us go deeper or see ways to be more vulnerable with those that we're engaging with. Or, the clues and information might help you see how you're contributing to how things are going, for example, and that might give you ideas about what information you might offer or get from someone.  As we explore new ways of being and engaging with our children besides what's already familiar and habitual, these clues and information we'll be noticing will help us have new possibilities.
The information we'll be exploring tends to come from new places. One reason is because we're slowing things down and encouraging asking for pauses so that, instead of jumping over things, we can take time to notice what emerges that we may have overriden/suppressed in the past. We may recognize a gut feeling that tells us what is right for us that we weren't listening to before.
 
Some of what we become aware of may help us see deep seated patterns we'd like to change. Or maybe see how we could engage with our children more vulnerably, sharing needs and what's important to us that we haven't shared before. We may realize we are contributing to tension in a relationship in a way we didn't recognize before. Each piece of information helps us have more choice as we engage in all our relationships.


We welcome your feedback along the way about how this process is for you.  This important information contributes to our process together.
We welcome your feedback along the way about how this process is for you.  This important information contributes to our process together.
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Latest revision as of 11:06, 8 March 2024

In addition to what's on this page, another resource we have available is a recording of an introductory session. You can request that we share the recording with you by emailing contact@empoweringwisdom.org.

Our emphasis is on transformation, holding the space for someone to navigate their own experience and look at their patterns and uncover new possibilities. We are trying as much as possible to help them discover their own wisdom from the inside out without becoming burdened by the personal agendas of others and other empathy blockers.[1] We go at a slow pace with plenty of room for silence, and we hold back on offering strategies until after there has been a lot of room for processing and we ask permission before offering things that the person may or may not want or be ready for.

A common and alienating experience that we want to avoid is feeling like we're being invaded and overwhelmed by people's assumptions, judgments, and advice. Rather, I want to hear you putting into words what your inner experience is right now, in response to what I have shared. What is stimulated in you in response to me? What is your basic, raw experience, including body sensations and emotions?

Hearing this from you is what gives me the context within which to place and be more fully aware of the experience I have had/am having. And from there, to understand myself better, to be able to feel myself more. Being offered acknowledgement and reflections which can include feelings and needs guesses can also be helpful.

How do we “hear each other into speech, into deeper and deeper speech?”

In the circle, we will not be facilitating with the familiar leadership teaching style. We are not an authority that has answers and knows what to do. We will be in exploration with you, believing in and supporting each of us to gain confidence in our ability to find our own way. We will explore with you what it means to engage with you in a "power with" way.

A major part of what we offer is through how we hold the space for the circle in a certain way. Differences we have identified:

  • taking time to notice what's present (emotions, sensations, thoughts) and being with what's emerging rather than jumping over it
  • acknowledging how hard it can be to welcome parts of ourselves that we wish were different
  • feeling the frustration/grief/etc of how big the gap is between where we are and where we want to be, for example, how much I want connection that I don't feel, connection with myself and with others
  • recognizing that deep acknowledgment of how hard being a parent/partner/friend/human being is often needs to occur before exploring strategies
  • trusting the process and what emerges with the support that I'm getting

The information we'll be exploring tends to come from new places. One reason is because we're slowing things down and encouraging asking for pauses so that, instead of jumping over things, we can take time to notice what emerges that we may have overriden/suppressed in the past. We may recognize a gut feeling that tells us what is right for us that we weren't listening to before.

Some of what we become aware of may help us see deep seated patterns we'd like to change. Or maybe see how we could engage with our children more vulnerably, sharing needs and what's important to us that we haven't shared before. We may realize we are contributing to tension in a relationship in a way we didn't recognize before. Each piece of information helps us have more choice as we engage in all our relationships.

We welcome your feedback along the way about how this process is for you. This important information contributes to our process together.

  1. Examples of Empathy Blockers
    • Evaluate: If you hadn't been so rude ...
    • Labeling: You are being overly sensitive.
    • Telltale: That reminds me of the time ...
    • One up: You should hear what happened to ...
    • Denying or discounting: That's nothing! OR Shouldn't you just be glad that you have a job?
    • Sympathize: You poor thing! I feel awful for you.
    • Put down: You're being silly. Don't be so ridiculous.
    • Dismissing: Well, at least you ...
    • Judging or guilting: That doesn't seem worth worrying about. OR I can't believe you did that!

    The empathy blockers in the above list were pulled from several different sources: